pinto luego existo

11 reasons for never blogging. Ever.

Hello and welcome (back) to this blend of culture, vision and utter crap. I had a few subjects in mind for this post, but picked the latter one, for it’s been bugging me for a long time now.
Why blog?

I had only negative arguments about blogging: haven’t too much time on my hand, what would the blog be about, do I really have anything relevant to say, if so – would anyone listen, would I become as lame as some fucking stupid romanian bloggers?

With that being said (yo, assholes, you owe me big time for showcasing your aids-infested blogs just now; by the way you should quit), I’ve made a list with the top reasons for not making a blog or pressing the delete button right now.

So: (burp)

  1. If your blog is a LOLCats, CanIHazCheezburger copy or if you’re reposting what the good people at the LOLCats evil headquarters create out of crap cats and… cheeseburgers, apparently.
  2. If your blog is not a music blog yet all you have is Youtube songs with meaningful lyrics underneath.
  3. If you write personal stuff, such as anal-bleeding beer fests or thoughts about someone you want to be with. No, I am not being harsh, for real now. Don’t cry. Oh… Jeez… Here, I’ll even bother to think about an alternative: WRITE A FUCKING JOURNAL! Or my second favorite: tell the poor soul.
  4. If your blogroll is jam-packed with so many commercials, it looks like Times Square minus the naked guy. You will not earn $50 million, you will not surpass Jay Z in stuntasticness, you will not pass “Go“.
  5. If you’re writing uninteresting, irrelevant, redundant, time wasting, stupid posts. Look, I know “content is king”, but if you don’t think about what you post, and do it just to angrenate the stupid masses into ridiculous and shalow comments, I don’t think so.
  6. If you think that by having a blog, you are ultimately the King of the Universe. No doubt, you are a unique human being, just as the rest of us are. You have to accept the fact that opinions are meant to be personal, and – oh Dear God, could be different than yours. DO NOT be an asshole, DO NOT treat your public with disrespect, DO NOT consider them stupid because they wRiTe LiKe ThIsS.
  7. If you have a post title that has no rellevance with the actual post. Except if your blog is an experimental-litterature one.
  8. If all you write about is negative stuff. Dissing everybody. If you really want to do that, tell the people in their face.
  9. If five minutes after the evening news ended, you post everything on your blog. It’s okay to write about a possible nuclear holocaust, but otherwise, I don’t care about some guy getting hacked by his daughter for molesting her for 32 years, I don’t care about your stupid politics and politicians, I don’t care about police.
  10. Starting a blog about peace in the Middle-East and finnishing as Teens gone wild. Seriously, dude?
  11. Give me fuel, give me fire, but not too much fire though. Posting too much is also a pickle in the whiskey jar. Opening your Google Reader and finding 1000+ next to your blog would make me either mark them all as read, or unsubscribe.

And there you have it. My unusually proportioned list. But what I really want to know is, what else would you put in this list?


Filed under: blogging, cheezburger, delete, eleven, heretics, lolcats, reasons


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